View source for Cheesecake-Eater Lad

{{Herobox|name = Cheesecake-Eater Lad|faction = net.hero|creator = Matthew Jotham Millheiser|extra = |alter = Pre-''[[Cry.Sig]]'': Condolia Boonspackle; Post-''Cry.Sig'': C.E.L. Spender|alias = None|primary = None|status = Co-Deputy Leader of the [[LNH (Classic Team)]], cook for the [[LNHQ (Classic)]]|usability = Free For Use}}

== History ==

C.E.L. Spender was the descendant of a line of legendary cooks, dating back the days of the American Revolution and Cecil Spender, whose pies were so delicious that the very smell of them caused British soldiers to drop dead from ecstasy. He had all the overwhelming talent of his family, but completely and exclusively focused on one dish: cheesecake. From the age of one year old, he was a prodigy; but such an overspecific skill set wasn't called for in the culinary sphere. But when [[Y-Plex Burp]] shut down his favorite restaurant, he focused those talents in another direction &ndash; vigilante justice!

:: In a [[retcon]]ned-away history, Condolia Boonspackle was a scientist working on a solvent to power his super-saturated fat particle beam at the same time as his wife was working on a cheesecake recipe for a gift. Half of each recipe was swapped, and the cheesecake gave him power &ndash; but his wife, having no gift, took her own life as was the custom of her people. He ran away and became Cheesecake-Eater Lad!

He became the LNH's chef because nobody else wanted the job. With his cheesecake powers, he's kept the kitchens stocked and kept the bellies of the [[Looniverse]]'s favorite fighting team full, even if they sometimes grumble about the calories. At one point, he received cosmic cheesecake-generating wristbands from Bessie-18, god-queen of the Galactose Quadrant, in reward for his services during some off-panel adventure.

He rarely actually goes on missions, and can usually be found in the [[LNHQ (Classic)|LNHQ]] kitchen. It's not that he's not a skilled [[net.hero]], or that he's useless on missions &ndash; it's just that, every time he goes away, there's the risk that the LNH at large will have to take up cooking duties<ref name=CD />.

Cheesecake-Eater Lad has been dating [[aLLiterative Lass]] since early in their net.heroing careers. When she was turned into a shapely ninja, he got anxious about his ability to measure up, trying to lose weight. When, due to Shenanigans, he thought she was dating [[Occultism Kid]], he gave up, but aLLi pushed past all that and showed him how happy she was to have him around. He came to help her when she fled to [[alt.pub.dragons-inn]], and after she returned, their relationship continued to deepen. During an impromptu mass marriage at LNHQ<ref name = cacl2 />, they got married, and eventually, had a child together.

Cheesecake-Eater Lad has died (or appeared to die) three times to date. The first was in ''[[The Death of Cheesecake-Eater Lad]]'', when he was killed by an <spoiler text="exploding microwave...">He was resurrected via retcon with a little help from [[Invisible-Intangible-Inaudible Lass]]. Between his death and resurrection he had an elaborate metaphysical adventure where he met [[Ending]] of [[The Finishless]] and fought the [[Giant Sewer Rat]].</spoiler>
The second was in ''[[Flame Wars IV]],'' when he was overwhelmed by [[OMAR]]'s <spoiler text="trolls...">He had in fact been replaced by [[Major Reason]] and then kidnapped by [[Net.Santo]], with [[Miss Translation]] and her crew eventually finding him there.</spoiler>
Finally, in ''[[WikiLull After]]'',  he died a pointless anticlimactic death when the forces of evil took over, like J'onn in ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Crisis Final Crisis]''. <spoiler text="After his death...">He briefly became one with existence, then found himself in an empty Limbo-like dimension, inhabited by [[Captain LNH]]...

During unpublished stories, he was resurrected alongside Captain LNH and helped to battle [[Neme.SYS]].</spoiler>
In the end, his pre-''[[Cry.Sig]]'' timeline was amalgamated with his post-''Cry.sig'' timeline, his marriage to aLLi was combined with his marriage to [[Petunia Boonspackle]], and he became the Looniversal Anchor of Indulgence. (What this title means is not exactly clear.) 

Post-''WikiLull'', he became Co-Deputy Leader of the LNH alongside [[Fearless Leader (Classic)|Fearless Leader]] and [[Catalyst Lass]], and kept the secret of [[Ultimate Ninja]]'s transcendence, and his replacement by [[Ultimate Ninja II]]. He supported the latter thru keeping the secret and thru the [[Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths!|sabertooth pandemic]], and was there when she revealed herself to the world...

== Personality ==

: He's so sweet. And I don't just mean because of all the sugar in his cheesecakes, either. He cares about people, and he's always working so hard.
::&mdash;[[Invisible-Intangible-Inaudible Lass]], ''[[Birth of a Villain]]'' #35

Cheesecake-Eater Lad is an experienced cook and an experienced net.hero, professional under pressure. He has a certain emotional openness about him.

When Cheesecake-Eater Lad first joined the [[LNH (Classic Team)|LNH]], he was eager to please. Since then, the years of experience have given him a patient outlook, although he's not above being annoyed by those who malign his pastry art.

== Powers and Abilities ==

Cheesecake-Eater Lad can eat any kind of cheesecake, no matter what is in it.  Is also extraordinarily talented at making cheesecake, with cosmically-powered wrist bands that can generate it at will.  Is highly trained by [[Ultimate Ninja]] in seven different fighting styles. During his [[Cheesecake-Eater Lad Strikes Back|post-death and resurrection ''Star Wars''-parody journey into outer space]], he learned the spiritual telekinesis-slash-baking power of the Pastry, which was never heard of again<ref name=csb/>.

== Appearance ==

Pudgy. Wears a yellow and tan costume.  Has cosmic cheesecake bands on his wrists.

== Relationships ==

Cheesecake-Eater Lad is married to [[aLLiterative Lass]], and the two of them are both married to [[Petunia Boonspackle]]. They have at least two daughters, one of whom, in the alter.net timeline of [[Looniverse-3000]], grows up to become [[Cheesecake Lass]] of the [[LNH3k]].  CEL also has a weird kind of relationship with [[Invisible-Intangible-Inaudible Lass]] in his dreams.

He has six brothers, who have not yet appeared onscreen.

He's close friends with [[Parking Karma Kid]]. He used to hang out with PKK, [[Cannon Fodder]] and [[wReamhack]] in an informal [[Subgroup]] they referred to as "the [[wReam]] Pack", but it drifted apart after Cheesecake-Eater Lad got married.

His alternate-universe counterparts include Sponge Lad of the [[Rosterverse]] and Cheesecake-Eater Lord of [[Looniverse-Focalor]].

== Awards ==

C-EL won [[Accies:Favorite LNHer]] in 1997.

== Appearances ==

* [[Ultimate Ninja]]
* The [[Kinda Big Darkness Saga]]
* [[Electrocutioner's Song]]
* [[The Flame Wars]]
* [[The CrossOver Caper]]
* [[LetterinG MaN (series)|LetterinG MaN]] #1-3, 6-10
* [[Flame Wars II]]
* [[LNH Comics Presents]] #10-11
* [[Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 1]] #63-64
* [[LNH Comics Presents]] #16, 18, 20 ([[Looniverse Adrift!]] Parts 4, 6 and 9)
* [[LNH Triple Play]] #2 ([[Looniverse Adrift!]] Part 8)
* [[Constellation (series)|Constellation]] #11
* [[aLLiterative Lass (series)|aLLiterative Lass]] #1-2
* [[Limp-Asparagus Lad (series)|Limp-Asparagus Lad]] #2, 33, 44, Annual #1
* [[Fan.Boy (series)|Fan.Boy]] #1, 5
* [[World Tales]] #3-4
* [[LNH Comics Presents]] #26-32 ([[It's All In the Timing]] Parts 1 to 7)
* [[Misfits]] #3
* [[Johnny Fearless]] #2, 3
* [[LNH Europe (series)|LNH Europe]] #1
* [[Hell's Titans]] #-6, -5
* [[The Death of Cheesecake-Eater Lad]] #1-5
* [[LNH 'Tsk' Force]] #1, 6
* [[New Look Lives]] #1
* [[The Adventures of Easily-Discovered Man]] #43-44
* [[Journey Into Irrelevancy]] #4, 6, 13
* [[The Continuing Misadventures of Miss Translation]] #5, 8, 14-15
* [[Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies!]] Epilogue
* [[Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2]] #2, 12, 47, 50
* [[LNH Comics Presents]] #38, 40, 501-502 ([[Infinite Leadership Crisis]] Parts 3, 5, 466 and 467) 
* [[Legion of Net.Heroes Webcomic]]
* [[Beige Countdown]] #12, 6, 1-0
* [[Beige Midnight]] #3-4
* [[Those Darn Vectors!]] #5
* [[Another LNH Title? Really?]] #1
* [[Cover Gallery]] #10i, 1010i 1012i/50i, 66i
* [[WikiLull After]] #2, 4, EXHALE
* [[Retcon Year]] #1-2
* [[Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 3]] #2
* [[Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths!]] #6, 12, 33, 50, EPILOG (Side Pi)
* [[Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023]] #1, 3, 10, 29ish

...and a bunch more that haven't made it onto the wiki yet.

== Footnotes ==

<references>
<ref name = cacl2>''[[Cute Anna: Crypt Looter]] #2 &ndash; [[Footnote Girl]]</ref>
<ref name=CD>See ''[[Culinary Disasters]]'' &ndash; [[Footnote Girl]]</ref>
<ref name=csb>And by "never" we mean "once", in ''[[Journey Into Irrelevancy]]'' #13, where he used it to stop a cosmically powered [[Comics Snob Boy]] from exploding more people.</ref>
</references>

[[Category:Classic LNH Members]]
[[Category:Cosmic Plot Device Era Characters]]
[[Category:Culinarians]]
[[Category:Ninja]]
[[Category:Free For Use]]