RACelestials

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The RACelestials (sometimes spelled RACCelestials) are cosmic beings of mysterious purpose who watch over Usenet and the rec.arts.comics.* hierarchy. They seem to watch over many basic functions of the Usenetverse, including the creation of new newsgroups and the judgment of existing ones. Their actions, while stabilizing on a cosmic scale, often cause chaos for mortals.

In one version of history, they were responsible for killing the dinosaurs. (There are many other hypertext-timelines where different beings were responsible for this, such as Flatulence Lad.)

In an alternate universe visited by Particle Man, the RACelestials judged the LNH a waste of bandwidth and devastated their world, and most of the Legion died in battle against them.

They created the Walkers for their own inscrutable goals.

Appearance

Two-thousand-foot-tall humanoids in all-covering body armor.

Named RACelestials

  • ReFoDis the Schizmator: Responsible for the creation of new newsgroups and the splitting of old ones into new hierarchies. Conducts a vote among all members of a world, giving them a cosmic command to "DECIDE". Issues the Cosmic Plonk when a change is decided against, and <more>. Also known as ReFoD.
  • The Scowling RACelestial: Responsible for threatening to take down any newsgroup whose policies it doesn't like. Moderated newsgroups have sometimes seen its wrath in the distance. [1]
  • Eagalon the Questioner: A benevolent cosmic guardian who occasionally runs trivia games on the side.

See also the Internet RACelestial Complex and the RACCelestial Madonna.

Footnotes

  1. Parodying the acerbic and contentious Usenet personality and rec.arts.comics poster "Scowling" Jim Cowling, who appeared in other stories in the unflattering guise of Cowlung.