The Cheapest Skate

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The Cheapest Skate is a net.hero created by Arthur Spitzer.
Alter Ego: Unknown
Aliases: None
Primary Writer: Arthur Spitzer
Status: Member of the Before God Guys
Usability: Usable Without Permission


Older than God – literally; he helped raise god along with the rest of the Before God Guys. Has been a hero since not even God knows when.

He participated in a crossover event between the book of Genesis and a story about the Banjo Dueling Kangaroos, saving The Wrinkly Old Bag from a banjo-possessed God. In the modern day, he and the other BGGs host live pledge drives on public television.


Even though he has saved over a zillion dollars in his very long existence, he's too cheap to spend any of it.

Powers and Abilities

This miser has a super-fast roller skate that goes up to the speed of light. But he only has one – he was too cheap to buy a second.


A very old man.