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W.I.R.E.D., or We Intend Rule and Eternal Domination, is a vast conspiracy-type operation with many smaller cells, each putting into action their own plan to rule the world.

One renegade faction of W.I.R.E.D. kidnapped Limp-Asparagus Lad and brainwashed him into Dark Limp-Asparagus Lad (despite how ridiculous that concept sounds), intending to use the power boost that happens upon turning evil to cover the whole world with his drama-dampening powers. However, they were defeated and Limpy rescued by Coma Kid and Continuity Champ Junior.

They tried again, making a deal with a cosmic entity known as the A.A.A., or, the Authority on Absurd Acronyms. They planned to use the Reversion Ray Projector to return Limpy to his Dark state and pair him with Exclamation!Master! to drive the world to distraction with mood swings, but when they were stopped by Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story, the A.A.A. proclaimed that they had failed to fulfill the agreement and took them, with an eerie yellow light.