Limp-Asparagus Lad

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Limp-Asparagus Lad is a net.hero created by Mystic Mongoose and wReam.
Alter Ego: Joshua Daniel Asimov
Aliases: Dark Limp-Asparagus Lad, Bloodthyrst
Primary Writer: Saxon Brenton
Status: Member of LNH; former operative of W.I.R.E.D.; student at Dave Thomas Deluxe University
Usability: Usable With Permission


Limp-Asparagus Lad was raised by his godparents after the abduction by aliens of his parents when he was five, just outside of A Town You've Probably Never Heard Of, Io.wa. During his teen years, his mutant powers of dull awoke, and when he turned 18, he enrolled in Dave Thomas Deluxe University and joined the Legion of Net.Heroes.

For a long time, he acted as an example in the FAQ of a Writer Character, though he had no Writer of his own. (It has been speculated that he was, by default, the only WC active during Looniverse Adrift!.) Seeking to improve his profile, he fell afoul of a plan by W.I.R.E.D. (We Intend Rule and Eternal Domination) to gain superhuman operatives. He was brainwashed into the evil Dark Limp-Asparagus Lad, but was rescued by Coma Kid and Continuity Champ Jr. and deprogrammed by Special Bonding Boy.

Shortly thereafter, he was lucky enough to gain a Writer silly enough to want someone with no personality as his Writer Character. Around then, his cousin Joe retconned himself into the Looniverse from rec.arts.comics.xbooks. He turned Bob Melwizcht from a life of crime as Exclamation!Master!, but he died and returned, becoming Limp-Asparagus Lad's arch-nemesis.

In meta-continuity, he was originally one of the GIF.clones of Sig.Lad that were created by Acton Lord, with an independent origin retconned in later.


Very dull; speaks in a monotone. Nevertheless, does to some extent feel the full spectrum of emotions; according to W.I.L.B.U.R., when he gets angry, his monotone starts sounding less like Mr. Spock and more like Rorschach.

Secular humanist.

Powers and Abilities

Originally, mutant powers of limp asparagus: psionically-based Drama dampening field and ability to loosen skin to absorb impacts. Has learned to extend his powers to sensing drama. Later gained super-strength via extradimensional energies.


1.7 meters tall, weighs 65 kilograms. Grey eyes, short hair-coloured hair. Pale green and olive spandex costume, with a half mask. Has an 'LA' and a stylised asparagus stalk on his left breast.

In Limp-Asparagus Lad #17, L-ALad was Liefeldised by RobGoblin and currently has a grotesquely enhanced musculature.


Cousin of Retcon Lad, godson of Emily and Henry Dale, biological son of Barbara and Jozef Asimov, fiance of Senses Lass.

Alternate-universe counterparts include Lipid-Artery Lad of the Oddball Legion, Lean-Apples Lad of Earth-Irritation, and the Limp-Asparagus Lad of Looniverse-B. Limp-Asparagus Lass, the latter's daughter, considers him her uncle.