Zombie President Taft

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From the United States Library of Congress's Prints and Photographs division, Public Domain
William Howard Taft is a former President created by Amabel Holland.
Alter Ego: None
Aliases: Zombie Taft
Primary Writer: None
Status: Deceased
Usability: Not Reserved


William Howard Taft served as the 27th President of the Loonited (or Usenetted) States of Ame.rec.a, and later as the 10th Chief Justice of that nation's Supreme Court. Taft had previously served as Governor-General of the Philippines and as Secretary of War.

As President, Taft emphasized trust-busting, civil service reform, strengthening the Interstate Commerce Commission, improving the performance of the postal service, and passage of the Sixteenth Amendment, which allowed Congress to levy an income tax. In addition, Taft sought to further the economic development of Latin Ame.rec.an and Asian nations through "Dollar Diplomacy."

Taft died on March 8, 1930, and was buried at Arlington Net.ional Cemetery, one of only two former presidents (the other being John F. Kennedy) to have received this honor.

Alas, the body of President Taft did not remain at rest...

In 1999, with Vector Prime and wReamicus Maximus wreaking havoc in Washington.gov during the Birth of a Villain storyline, the Mysterious Chairman and his henchmen summoned Taft from the grave to act as their champion. As in subsequent appearances, the zombie Taft arrived on scene accompanied by his own theme music, a parody of Isaac Hayes' "Theme From Shaft":

   "Who's the man that would risk his life for his brother man?
   He's a complicated man, nobody understands him but the vice-president . . .
   He's a dirty mother . . .
   I was talking about Taft, you dig?
   WE DIG.
  —Birth of a Villain #11

He was defeated by the unlikely combination of Fourth Wall Demolisher Lad and the Cabbage-Wielding Angel of Death, though not before exhibiting some impressive dance moves.

Taft returned at the very end of the Infinite Leadership Crisis. Possessed by the spirit of Old Scratch himself, he joined the Solid Gold Dancers for an attack on Fan.way Park. Only a team effort by Occultism Kid and Gothic Gorilla, together with the power of the band Rush, could defeat him.

Ironically, Taft was one of the few former presidents who was not turned into a zombie during Dead Presidents, as his prodigal corpse had been placed "in a secure facility".


Though mostly an empty shell during those times when his body has emerged from the grave, one lingering thought tends to plague Taft's consciousness: the question of what "Teddy" – former President Theodore Roosevelt, his mentor – would do.

Powers and Abilities

As President and Chief Justice, Taft was known as a masterful negotiator and capable administrator. As a zombie, he mostly lumbered around and bellowed, although he apparently liked to move it, move it:

   "Any story that revolves around a furious dance competition is fine by me. Especially when one of the contestants is the rotting zombie corpse of our most corpulent president."
   —Marc Singer, commenting on Birth of a Villain #29


Big, dead and unpleasant, though with some rather nice whiskers.