Baby Pain

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Baby Pain is a melodramatic net.hero turned net.villain created by Amabel Holland.
Alter Ego: Bette Buxton
Aliases: Dr. Willy
Primary Writer: Amabel Holland
Status: At least one version of her is probably alive? Maybe?
Usability: Free For Use


Content Warning: domestic abuse

Baby Pain's history is a blatant parody of the cult-favorite 1962 camp horror-melodrama What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?: A ten-year-old net.hero (imagine that!) who got famous towards the end of the Golden Age but whose career faded away, eclipsed by her sister Joan, AKA the Fighting Debutante. Her career had been stage-managed by her abusive father, the retired net.hero once known as Captain Overbearing Father Figure, and she passed the abuse on to her sister. The LNH came to Joan's rescue, but Bette began an new career as an evil robot-making mad scientist who wanted to make the whole world miserable!

Assuming the name Doctor Willy, she built an island base guarded by a bunch of blatant Mega Man parody robots and plotted to plunge the Looniverse into unmitigated Drama by stealing the Clogs of Comedy from the Godmaker.[1] But in the end, the inherent silliness of the LNH was just too much for her to overcome.

She then began another plot, taking over Shlockbuster Video and hatching a complicated Hitchcockian scheme to destroy all human culture except for the films Chocolat and Smokey and the Bandit 2. Kid Quickly-Irritated-By-Others and his allies once more stood in her way. She summoned the ghost of Comics Snob Boy to defeat the Legion. Unfortunately for her, the cosmically-powered Comics Snob Boy saw her as a disposable pawn and exploded her. And that was that.

But then! The future Doctor Willy turned out to still exist; she came back in time and revealed how she had stage-managed the entire series through an even more convoluted plan. The culmination of this was helping the Bhigghrehenghuyhs invade Loonivearth, but her own niece/ex-brainwashed henchwoman Rachel Buckley stopped her.

And then, one Doctor Willy or other came back to try and stop Kid Quickly-Irritated-By-Others and Rachel's wedding, but she was defeated at long last by the Magic Fruitcake. And that was that.

Powers and Abilities

As Baby Pain, took pills that could shrink her down. As Doctor Willy, had a whole bunch of robots. Also can bring dead fish to life, evidently.


Wants to inflict the misery she lived through on everyone else, and came up with more and more bizarre plans to accomplish this.


An old woman who resembles Bette Davis.



  1. Taking advantage of the disruption of the balance of Comedy and Drama in the Looniverse caused by the September 11 attacks in the Real World; she probably stole the Clogs during the events of Limp-Asparagus Lad #55, shortly before Journey Into Irrelevancy #1 was posted.