Deathspork: The Terminator

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Deathspork: The Terminator is a assassin created by Jeanne Morningstar.
Alter Ego: Unknown
Aliases: The Spork-Wielding Assassin from Jesse Willey's Grocery List #11[1]
Primary Writer: Jeanne Morningstar
Status: Member of the Brotherhood of Net.Villains
Usability: Free for Use


Deathspork: The Terminator is the world's foremost expert on murdering people with sporks. He may have once been part of the Order of Saint Doomas. A former member of the League of Net.Assassins, he claims he was kicked out because his ideas were too radical. More likely it was because he created 200 sockpuppets to tweet at Swordmaster about how much better at weapons he was.[2]

He was first sighted as a nameless assassin hanging out in outer space, where he was hired by the sinister Doctor Lurks-in-the-Shadows to steal a significant artifact from Fred the Receptionist. Over the years, his reputation suffered badly. After a series of ignominious defeats, he upgraded himself using the Rung of Revamp, becoming a killer more powerful than ever before: DEATHSPORK: THE TERMINATOR!

He was promptly beaten by his old enemy, Kristen Stewart. The MicroMACs had hired him to steal Amnesiac Brad Pitt's trenchcoat, but despite his efforts to be badass and villainous, he became part of the Cool Name Band and fought against the power of Neme.sys using the power of music, and left with an uneasy respect for his fellow band members.

Afterwards, he joined the East Coast Brotherhood of Net.Villains, and was swept up in their conflict with the West Coast Brotherhood and the battle against Simplicity, ending up as a member of Mistake's merged Brotherhood.


Legitimately good at what he does (though not the best) but obsessed and anxious about his reputation. His weakness is that he puts as much effort into putting up a front of cool as he does in actually doing his work. Highly passive-aggressive.

Powers and Abilities

A skilled assassin who wields a variety of special weaponized sporks, such as the Sporkarang. Has a healing factor. Doctor Killfile II speculated that his powers are based on the net.element of keystroke/punctuation, which is why he has a colon in his name.


Wears a super-90s masked costume with lots of pouches (for all the sporks) and a codpiece.



  1. At one point, he was referred to as The Spork-Wielding Assassin from Jesse Willey's Grocery List #13, but there is no JWGL #13.
  2. You would think that this means that Deathspork: The Terminator was expelled from the League of Net.Assassins sometime after the founding of Twitter in 2006, but it's not clear whether this is the case, because after all, this is the LNH. What do you expect? Consistency?
  3. That's right, the poor guy didn't get a single line.