Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story

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Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story is a net.hero created by Matt Rossi.
Alter Ego: Terry Namu
Aliases: The Big Blue Cheese, Kid-Not-Appearing-In-Any-Beige-Midnight-Story
Primary Writer: Saxon Brenton
Status: Member of the LNH (Classic Team)
Usability: Usable With Permission

History

Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story is a native of the planet Vathlo, but was sent to the Loonivearth by his parents to escape the doom of that world with his twin brother. Apparently, as a Vathlosian, KidNAIARHS gained certain superhuman powers when on the Loonivearth. However, during a visit to the newsgroup alt.fan.diane-duane, a number of these powers were altered with Kid's agreement by the entity known as Maxwell, trading his ability to disintegrate an object into entropically inert ylem for the power to repair space-time and reverse entropy on a limited scale.

In meta-continuity, KidNAIARHS agreed to undergo a revamp post-Retcon Hour so that he could have more appearances, rather than languish in Limbo as a one-joke character. It is for this reason that he and Fourth Wall Lass are alt.versions of one another, and share alt.telepathy.

During Infinite April, he was revamped into Kid Not Appearing In Any Beige Midnight Story, and went on a cosmic journey with Cannon Fodder to discover the source of an attack on the Omnilooniverse. He has since changed back, but the reason for the change itself is lost in the unfinished issues of 58.5.

Personality

Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story is the pinnacle of the Overgrown Boy Scout archetype. He's intelligent, but thinks absolutely in the superhero paradigm.

He was raised Jewish, but returned to the faith of Rayon of Vathlo as an adult.

Powers and Abilities

Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story has various deliberately ill-defined powers of Pre-Crisis Superman level. These include the standard super-strength, invulnerability, flight, and optic force blasts, along with anthropic restorative abilities and unconsciousness-causing concussive blasts. As well, he shares alt.telepathy with Fourth Wall Lass.

Weaknesses

Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story has a single, terrible weakness – appearing in a Retcon Hour story!

...which you would think wouldn't be a problem, since Retcon Hour ended in 1994. But Retcon Hour involved massive manipulation of time and space, ending up with hypercompression of all existence! Then, when the narrative was restored, pieces of hypercompressed story were flung back into the Looniverse!

Known isotopes of Retcon Hour Story include:

  • Green, which weakens and will eventually kill Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story by radiation poisoning
  • Red, which causes an unpredictable effect for 24-48 hours
  • Silver, which removes his sense of humor
  • Jewel, which can boost the mental powers of the Fandom Zone Criminals
  • Chartreuse, which is only harmful to title characters of review series
  • Violet, which hurts imperfect duplicates, like corrupted GIF.clones and the Oddball Legion
  • Indigo, which can be manipulated to create temporary retconned pasts

There are others...

Appearance

Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story is a tall, black adult male with a solid, impressive build. He wears a bodysuit in navy and azure (on the torso, and the upper arms and legs) and black and white (on the lower limbs), along with a navy cape with azure trim in style of the DC/Fawcett Captain Marvel.

As Kid Not Appearing In Any Beige Midnight Story, the black and white areas are gone, and his cape is attached with an old-looking beige cord. As well, the whole costume is more modern and streamlined.

Relationships

"Brother" of Fourth Wall Lass. Biological son of Henr-eE of Valtho.

Appearances

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