Limp-Asparagus Lad (series)

Saxon Brenton's series about Limp-Asparagus Lad, Man Without A Personality, and his friends and cohorts!

Started out as a six-issue mini before being expanded to an ongoing.

Issues

Limp-Asparagus Lad continues to be released irregularly on rec.arts.comics.creative.

Read it on the Blue Light Productions website, or on the Eyrie Archive, by web or FTP!

Cast

Main Cast

• Limp-Asparagus Lad: The main character; due to his dull nature, needs a large supporting cast to maintain interest.
• Retcon Lad: L-A Lad's brother. A semi-reluctant net.hero, he nevertheless helps fight the good fight. Can influence the course of prior events. Has traces of Mutant Angst from his time as a Generation X fanfic character.
• Fourth Wall Lass: Retcon Lad's girlfriend. Can pass back and forth through the Fourth Wall at will.

Recurrers

• Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story: Fourth Wall Lass's alt.counterpart. One of the most powerful characters, with abilities on par with the Pre-Crisis Superman.
• Footnote Girl: A trainee LNHer native to alt.fan.pratchett with the ability to create perfectly-accurate footnotes. Librarian Lady's younger sister.
• Senses Lass: AKA Mary-Ann. Limp-Asparagus Lad's girlfriend, currently working off a jail sentence due to net.villainous activities.
• Subplot Lad: The Sultan of Subtle Storylines. Exists only in the non-predominant parts of the story.
• Lipid-Artery Lad: Limpy's Oddball Legion counterpart. Joined the cast mostly to get more exposure and, thus, more reality for his home universe.
• Limp-Asparagus Lass of Looniverse-B: The daughter of L-A Lad's alternate self. Regards him as "Uncle Limpy".
• Anal-Retentive Archive Kid: Librarian Lady's assistant.
• Chinese Guy: An occasionally badly-dubbed martial artist from Alt.stralia. Friends with Lenny, a legendary spirit in the form of a squirrel.
• Very Big Boy: A native of rec.arts.movies.b-movies with the power to become a Man Who Is Both Colossal And Amazing.

Occasionally-Seen

• Librarian Lady: The LNH's librarian and older sister to Footnote Girl.
• Chris Melwizcht: Exclamation!Master!'s son. Has no knowledge of the Fourth Wall, so thinks that all heroes and villains are completely insane (instead of just partially insane).
• Redemption: AKA Sufferyng. A time-travelling former net.villain attempting to prevent future catastrophe.
• Artemis: Redemption's on-again off-again reason for living. Strives to keep him on the straight-and-narrow, or at least the not-whiny. In an alt.ernate future, daughter of Limp-Asparagus Lad.
• Luke Pastach: One of Saxon's pre-Internet creative writing characters. Has interdimensional teleport capabilities. A member of the Space Cadets.
• Zachary Durandal: A mild-mannered mutant attending Dave Thomas Deluxe University. Was once Abbadon, Dinnerplate's mind-drained henchman.
• Kurt Guttmann: Lecturer in Defence Against The Dark Arts at Dave Thomas Deluxe University.
• Elizabeth Greenvale: Honor student and vampire. Doesn't want to be pulled into all this weird crap.

Villains

• W.I.R.E.D.: We Intend Rule and Eternal Domination. A splinter faction of a world-girdling conspiracy who made a deal with A.A.A. (see below) for power. Indirectly responsible for Kid Not Appearing In Any Retcon Hour Story's existence.
• Exclamation!Master!: Limpy's self-declared archenemy. Hates him for convincing him to give up villainy, resulting in his death and rebirth.
• Splashpage: One of Exclamation!Master!'s henchmen. Amazes and seduces people with fancy poses and overly-detailed art, and can also transform them into handbook entries. Is a fifth-level adeptus of the Fourth Wall.
• Butt Kickin' Guy: Another of Exclamation!Master!'s henchmen. Basically just punches you.
• Doornail: Cannon Fodder's brother, who impersonated him and attacked Letters Page Man.
• Dinnerplate: Mind-controlling shadow-manipulating mutant cannibal who desires to feed off Retcon Lad's angst.
• Doctor Liverwurst: A no-good nutty kook who schemes to take over rec.arts.movies.b-movies.
• The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Olde Net.ropolis Towne: Self-explanatory.

Whatever

• A.A.A.: The Authority on Absurd Acronyms, a cosmic being whose portfolio includes abbreviations made using the first letter of each word. Acronym-users can bargain with it for power, but woe betide those who do not fulfill their side of the bargain...
• Letters Page Man: Takes care of the Letters Page. Doesn't actually interact with the other characters. Lives in The Writing and has two small, monstrous assistants named Hoot and Snob. Often involved in Vertigo-style stories.

Stories

Note that the numbering skipped forward between issue #20 and issue #33, and again between issue #34 and issue #39.

Story Arcs

• Limp-Asparagus Lad Miniseries (issues #1-6): An uninteresting hero is born! But W.I.R.E.D. has plans for the Man of Dull...
• The Search For Petina (issues #7-10): Librarian Lady's sister is missing, and our heroes fly to alt.fan.pratchett to find her. But all is not as it seems...
• The Return of Exclamation!Master! (issues #11-13): Lipid-Artery Lad is back, but this time, he's not looking to fight. Unfortunately, Exclamation!Master! and his henchmen are!
• I Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Retcon Lad (issues #14 & 15): Retcon Lad is feeling down, but this is no ordinary depression! Featuring world-building exposition!
• Leftovers (issues #19 & 20): Time travelers and alternate universes!
• Food (issues #41 & 42): The LNHHQ has vanished, so our team pitches in to help out the city. But Dinnerplate is hungry, and Retcon Lad is on the menu!
• Somewhere Friendly (issues #43 & 44): Limp-Asparagus Lad meets one of his writer's older characters, and the secret of Senses Lass is revealed.
• It Came From The Late Late Show (issues #46-50): It's beach parties, mutants, and riffs ahoy as Limp-Asparagus Lad salutes the B-movie!
• The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Olde Net.ropolis Towne (issues #51-54): Retcon Lad, Fourth Wall Lass, Chinese Guy, Harris the Kiwi, and Anal-Retentive Archive Kid are trapped in the horror genre!
• Decimation (issues #56-58): Humans are going ape, but what happens when you de-evolve the next step in human evolution? Part of Apes Month!

Crossovers

• Issue #16: Culinary Disasters
• Issue #17: Untitled crossover with Fan.Boy
• Issue #18: Flame Wars III Part 2
• Issue #33: Century Pact, Crisis on Looniearth-B
• Issue #34: Crisis on Looniearth-B

Self-Contained Issues

• Issue #39: "Yet Another LNH Christmas Story"
• Issue #40: "T'was The Attempt To Take Over The World Before Christmas"
• Issue #45: "President Hexadecimal" (starring Bicycle Repair Lad)
• Issue #55: "What Do You Mean, 'Editorial Policy Won't Let Superheroes Do That'?"
• Annual #1: "Millennial Voices"
• Special #1: "Homecoming"
• Special #2: "They Shoot Pizza Delivery Boys, Don't They?"
• Special #3: "One Ape Story. Extra Run-on Sentences, Easy on the Similies, Please."

Awards

Limp-Asparagus Lad won RACCies:Favorite Series, RACCies:Favorite Parody/Comedy, and Accies:Favorite Series in 2001 and 2003. In 2003, It Came from the Late Late Show won Accies:Favorite Arc, and in 2006, Decimation won RACCies:Favorite Arc. In 2001, issue #44 won RACCies:Favorite Single Issue, and in 2006, issue #55 did the same. Special #1 won RACCies:Favorite Acraphobe/Adult in 2003.