Easily-Discovered Man Lite

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Easily-Discovered Man Lite is a net.hero sidekick created by Rob Rogers. He is the narrator of The Adventures of Easily-Discovered Man.
Alter Ego: Hector Lopez
Aliases: None
Primary Writer: Rob Rogers
Status: Member of the LNH, sidekick to Easily-Discovered Man
Usability: Usable With Permission

History

In search of a part-time job, high school student Hector Lopez applies for a position with Professor Theodore Wong, a physics professor at Dave Thomas Deluxe University. Wong reveals that he is the super-hero Easily-Discovered Man, and asks Lopez to become his sidekick, Easily-Discovered Man Lite. (Lopez does not discover until much later that he is not the first person to serve as Easily-Discovered Man's sidekick.)

While initially put off by the dangers and inherent absurdity of his chosen profession, Lopez decides to stay with Wong, since he pays well and the job gives Lopez an excuse to cut class. 

"He dresses like he's on crack, he regularly involves both of us in situations we have no hope of surviving, and hanging around him will probably give me cancer.  All in all, I'd say he's probably the best boss I've ever had.  If I'm alive at the end of the day, and no one I know has been mutated into a giant transforming robot, baked into a mind-controlling waffle, or developed into a character too deep for me to relate to, I feel I'm doing okay.  I'd like to keep doing this for a while, if only because I get to occasionally save the world and it beats the hell out of retail."
 —Easily-Discovered Man Lite, How To Write Easily-Discovered Man Lite

Always interested in making a quick buck, Lite has sometimes acted as a pitchman for products based on Easily-Discovered Man (generally without the knowledge of his employer) or the Legion of Net.Heroes. These schemes have often backfired, and once — in the case of the Easily-Discovered Bran Mite — even resulted in the creation of a super-villain, although Lite is unaware of this.

Currently, Lite is 18 years old, and on the verge of graduating high school.

Personality

As the more level-headed of the two, it often falls on Lite to rescue Easily-Discovered Man whenever the hero's enthusiasm leads them into danger. Since he has no super-powers, Lite is forced to rely on his wits, a good deal of luck and unconventional methods to achieve his goals. 

"First rule of super-heroics: Keep whacking at the bad guys with whatever you've got and eventually something will blow up."
 —Easily-Discovered Man Lite, The Adventures of Easily-Discovered Man #18

See also How To Write Easily-Discovered Man Lite.

Powers and Abilities

Lite is an ordinary teenager, with no powers or abilities other than a sarcastic wit and an affinity for horrible puns. 

. "So what are your powers supposed to be, Lite?" Cynical Lass asked.
. "I'm less filling, and I taste great."
. "Seriously."
. "The horrifying thing is, he *is* serious," said Londonbroil.
 —The Adventures of Easily-Discovered Man #21

He does, however, have a four-foot-long carbonized steel spatula with a serrated flipping end.

He is also the lead vocalist of the Easily-Discovered Band.

Appearance

Much to the consternation of his employer, Lite has consistently refused to wear a super-hero costume. His "uniform" consists of a T-shirt, jeans, sneakers and a Boston Red Sox baseball cap. The T-shirt often has band logos on it, such as They Might Be Giants or Chooters.

Lite's closest friends are Cynical Lass, Frat Boy and Substitute Lad. He maintains a mild unrequited crush on Mouse, with whom he shared a date. He has also dated Summer Meadows, a fellow high-school student, and claims to have had an on-again, off-again relationship with someone called "Binary Lass". (Insert groan here.)

In addition to being a fan of the Boston Red Sox, Lite is also an avid watcher of "The Young And The Restless," a devotee of actress Molly Ringwald and a secret supporter of singer Michael Bolton.

Relationships

Lopez's father, a former assassin, is enthusiastic about his son's chosen profession, while his mother, a customer service representative for America Online, is more apprehensive. Lite's older brother, Juan Lopez, is obsessed with Michael Jackson and lives in a world all his own.

Enemies

Lite has crossed swords with many of Easily-Discovered Man's enemies, including Can't Get A Break At The Lights, Man, Plummet and the Waffle Queen. He has also faced the resurrected Doctor Killfile, battled Vector Prime, teamed up with Londonbroil and Tsar Chasm and fought the Seven Deadly Sphammers. The Easily-Discovered Bran Mite considers Lite his arch-nemesis, though Lite is unaware he exists.

Awards

Lite won Accies Favorite LNHer in 1994 and 2000. In 1993, he won Accies Favorite Supporting Character, which is just typical, really.

Appearances

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