History of the Looniverse
Revision as of 03:49, 18 December 2023 by Ununnilium (talk | contribs)
The Looniverse has a long and storied history. Since the day Doctor Killfile attacked the LNH, a number of Writers have filled in the gaps. Retcons, however, often make the task of history scribing very difficult in an ever-changing Looniverse. The more popular ideas tend to remain and the lesser ones tend to disappear.
Look, now, on these landmark events...
(See also the History of Earth-20 and the Classic LNH Timeline.)
Contents
- 1 The Before Times
- 1.1 Beginning of the Universe
- 1.2 65 Million Years Ago
- 1.3 Hypertextian Age
- 1.4 Ancient Sumer
- 1.5 Early Middle Ages
- 1.6 1871
- 1.7 1872
- 1.8 1873
- 1.9 1898
- 1.10 1910
- 1.11 1914
- 1.12 1920s
- 1.13 1924
- 1.14 1930s
- 1.15 1937
- 1.16 1938
- 1.17 1941
- 1.18 1943
- 1.19 1944
- 1.20 1956
- 1.21 1959
- 1.22 1963
- 1.23 1970
- 1.24 1973
- 1.25 1979
- 1.26 1980
- 1.27 1984
- 1.28 1985
- 1.29 1986
- 1.30 Late '80s
- 1.31 1991
- 1.32 1992
- 2 Future History
- 3 Footnotes
The Before Times
Beginning of the Universe
- Everything explodes.
- Including the DHenry Force.
- The Net.Gods and Net.Trolls are born.
- Various time-traveling LNHers can be briefly seen. (see Flame Wars II, Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths!)
65 Million Years Ago
- According to various accounts, the dinosaurs are destroyed by one or more of the planet Net.mesis, the RACelestials and Flatulence Lad. Because of the nature of Hypertext Time, all these different versions of history are true.
Hypertextian Age
- Sword-and-sorcery adventures happen, with monsters and cursed swords and heroes and heroines who don't wear very much clothing. Due to mages experimenting with retcotheric energy (to disastrous effect), this era is erased from history; however, some things linger, its curses, entities and artifacts surviving into the present day even though they blatantly don't fit into the archaeological record.
Ancient Sumer
- The first known contact of humanity with the Universal Office happens.
Early Middle Ages
- The Cosmic Plot Device is found and the Cult of the Cosmic Plot Device is formed.
1871
- The Warlord faces off with the bounty hunter Jonah Hexadecimal.
1872
- Robber-barons sponsor teams of engineers to build Steel Leviathans – steampunk giant robots – to tear apart each other's railroads. By luck and skill, the Load Ranger manages to take down two of these in passing.
1873
- Torrential rains flood a third of Net.ropolis and destroy thousands of buildings, but it recovers.
1898
- Probably some version of War of the Worlds happens (unless it's in 1938). (See Mars)
1910
- Net.ropolis is devastated by the Great Mister Paprika Flood of 1910. (Now that's a man's flood!) In the wake of this, the city streets are moved higher and the original street level becomes the underground area of Darknet Town.
1914
- The Warlord dies a pointless, bloody death on the battlefields of World War I.
1920s
- During a battle of the Second Sino-Japanese War, a mysterious magical explosion takes place and Manga Man Gold is created.
1924
- As if multiple floods weren't enough, Net.ropolis is almost destroyed by a firestorm, but the people build back from that too.
1930s
- Boy Lad, hero of World War I, finds a briefcase with the letters LNH written on it.
1937
- The Cosmic Plot Device is stolen from the Cult by the Nazis, but disappears before Hitler can get his hands on it.
1938
- Probably some version of War of the Worlds happens (unless it's in 1898).
1941
- Golden Man's first sidekick, Bobby, makes his debut.
1943
- Bobby dies in battle against the Alt.ra-Huma.net.ite alongside the Challengers of the Abominable – or does he?
1944
- The Warlord takes on a Nazi supervillain.
1956
- The Classics Squad faces their final case, and the Book of Deus ex Machinas is sealed away.
1959
- The Challengers of the Abominable defeat Y.E.T.I., seemingly for good; Golden Lord is quantum-fused with Sasquatch Prime and is lost.
1963
- A Time Door opens, allowing the Legion of Net.Hippies to travel back and forth between their present day and fifty years later.
1970
- Midnight, January 1st: The Time Door closes.
1973
- The last Red Stapler War happens, with the Instrument that controls the Universal Office of Looniverse-A destroyed.
- The Netromancer finds a door into the Universal Office.
1979
- The career of the original Macroman begins.
1980
- Macroman apparently dies at the hands of the Post-Time Shifter.
1984
- The League of New-Wave Heroes is transformed into radio energy, not to be reconstituted for fifteen years. (Presumably, time-travel brings them back to about the same period.)
- A bunch of LNHers time-traveling from Birth of a Villain are sent back here, where they meet Doctor Stomper and battle The Red Squares.
1985
- The Legion of Net.Heroes is formed! (LNH: The Early Years date)
1986
- The mysterious net.hero Mr. Net.ropolis makes his debut and battles the resurgent Alt.ra-Huma.net.ite.
Late '80s
- Dr. Plot discovers the Cosmic Plot Device, believing it to be extraterrestrial, and sends it to the Net.ional Museum of History, where it is put on display.
1991
- The Legion of Net.Heroes is formed! (Retcon Year date)
1992
- The Cosmic Plot Device Caper begins!
Future History
Right Before the End of the Universe
- The time of Humanity
The Rear End of Time
- The LNHQ, having survived the death of Earth and all life in the universe, becomes the citadel of the Time Crapper.
End of the Universe
- There are many different theories about how the universe will end, and because of the nature of Hypertext Time they are all true. It may fade away into entropy, die in a spectacular Big Crunch and be reborn as a new universe, or loop back around to its beginning.[1]
Footnotes
- ↑ Go and read the timeline again from the beginning for full effect.