Mechanical Author

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The Mechanical Author is a artificially intelligent demiurge created by Arthur Spitzer (concept), Steven Howard and Marc Singer (character).
Alter Ego: None
Aliases: None
Primary Writer: Steven Howard, Arthur Spitzer, Marc Singer
Status: Imprisoned in the Fourth Wall
Usability: Reserved


When Doctor Net.ropolis pierced the Fifth Wall, she gained knowledge of the Looniverse's fictional reality and drew up a plan to make a better world: to replace the flawed Authors with a perfect Mechanical Author, designed to write the Looniverse into a Utopia. But this didn't go according to plan: the perfect story, from a narrowly linear AI's point of view, is an allegory, where people would have no free will.

After it came into existence, the Mechanical Author decided to prepare for transforming the nature of the Looniverse by killing all of the Writers. It also tried to retcon away the Saviors of the Net, but was unsuccessful in stopping Dr. Net.ropolis, the Ultimate Savior, and Very-Disturbed-Scary-Creature Man from escaping. After an unsuccessful attempt in retconning the world, it gave its powers to the Lords of Retcon while it sent itself to the dawn of the Looniverse so it could repower itself with all of the retcotheric energy since time began. It also used its powers to bring to life three of Dr. Net.ropolis's Mechanical Author prototypes: Alt.Lord, Arthur E.L. Presence, and Arc, to be used as pawns.

Realizing his Lords of Retcon were making a mess of things, he came back at the end of Mutton Mania and reclaimed his power from them, stomping them flat in the process. Afterwards, he tried to manipulate the LNH into destroying a machine Dr. Net.ropolis was working. He succeeded in that, but caused the three remaining Saviors and the LNH to team up so that they could stop him.

During his battle with the Saviors and the LNH, he caused Dr. Net.ropolis to have a stroke, which sent her into a coma. The Ultimate Savior, using his Holy Hoop, and Gothic Gorilla, using the Retcon Protection Pin, managed to defeat the Mechanical Author, causing him to be embedded into the Fourth Wall itself.

Whether the Mechanical Author is completely dead or just biding its time till it finds a way to escape from the Fourth Wall is unknown. In JONG #69, it had recharged after decades and broken free from the Fourth Wall – before being immediately destroyed by the saliva of the Slobbering Grue!; however, JONG #69 is a very silly story.


A single-minded artificial intelligence whose only purpose is carrying out its programmed directives.

Powers and Abilities

Had the full powers of a Writer, but due to its limited capacity for imaginative thinking, could not fully use them.


Never described, and may be indescribable.