Ultimate Mercenary

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Ultimate Mercenary is a net.hero created by Tom Russell.
Alter Ego: Unknown
Aliases: "Merc" (no one actually calls him that), "UM"
Primary Writer: Jeanne Morningstar
Status: Former member of the LNH (Classic Team), member of the LNH (Team 20)
Usability: Usable with permission

History

In a twisted alt.ernate future ruled by ApocaLISP, Ultimate Ninja was killed in a grueling battle against the evil mutant's Horsemen. When he died, the Legion was lost. But he left behind a fan, who trained himself in the ways of the ninja, took up his sword, and followed in his footsteps. And that fan had a son. And that son had a son. And that clone had a son, and that son had a son. That son had a clone, and he in turn had a son. And that son called himself the Ultimate Mercenary, last of the Ninja, trained to hold the line against ApocaLISP when all was lost.

However, his ninja training never quite took, in par because he couldn't quite suppress his compassion and vulnerability the way his father could, and in part because, well, he was a teenage boy.

At some point, his father died and he had a brief, nightmarish stay in a postapocalyptic high school and was trained under another master, Schtick. He soon became friends with that reality's Andy Best, aka Anything-You-Can-Do-I-Can-Do-Better Lad, last survivor of the LNH. When Andy was killed by ApocaLISP, UM teamed up with time-displaced LNHers Fuzzboy and the original Manga Girl. He crossed over to the main Looniverse during the Afro of Darnation crossover and became the Ninja's lackey for a long time, making life difficult for minor LNHers.

Then the Writers forgot about him, sending him into Limbo. But then he was pulled out by reality-warping Producers during the events of Flame Wars VI in an attempt to make a superhero movie on the cheap. He established an uneasy friendship/alliance with a fellow prisoner of the Producers, Victoria Arden, and gained a mysterious artifact, the Jade Dragon Flute, from an equally mysterious Old Man. He was rescued by Masterplan Lad of the Knights Temporal and became involved in a cross-time conflict between the Knights and their enemies, The Centre, while escaping from a Headhunter. The storyline got too complicated for even the writer to follow, and Ultimate Mercenary found himself in Limbo again.

After Beige Midnight, the Crossover Queen, who had captured Victoria, inadvertently freed them when she captured the Headhunter to channel The Hungry Past and revamp the Looniverse. Ultimate Mercenary took on the Queen and helped stop her plot, narrowly escaping her Crossover Citadel. When fighting to save Victoria from the Crossover Queen, he was able to act successfully as a ninja, even performing the Ultimate Ninja's signature Heartthrob, until he realized he was doing it. He also found out that Manga Girl was dead, shortly before finding her RACC counterpart. After jumping through a bunch of different crossovers, including a brief and disastrous attempt at leading the LNH during the Infinite Leadership Crisis, he finally headed off to the storyline he was meant to be a part of.

Then, for reasons yet unknown, he found himself in another world. He was shocked to find that the familiar LNH seemed to have been replaced by a version where Ultimate Ninja didn't exist, and that Kid Enthusiastic's devices showed he originated from this dimension. At this point, no one yet knows how he got there or how to return him to his home universe, so he's resigned himself to joining the Earth-20 LNH, and they've resigned themselves to putting up with him.

Sometime in the future, he will travel through time and space to the Classic Looniverse's Golden Age to participate in the battle against Divine Blade.

Personality

He tries to act like Ultimate Ninja, but fails miserably. However, he is capable of a surprising amount of presence of mind and strategic thinking when he has to be, although his adolescent hormones and desire to appear cool do tend to get in the way. As a follower of a ninja tradition that emphasizes suppression of all emotions, he can be very rigid and difficult to get along with precisely because he's more caring and compassionate than he thinks he should be. In the classic LNH, he was basically the Ninja's lackey/whipping boy/assitant/bootlicker/etc, while in the Earth-20 LNH he tries to play a similar role to the Ninja (without much in the way of success). Nevertheless, he has the potential to develop into a true hero, as demonstrated during his battle with the Crossover Queen.

Powers and Abilities

Originally, he had no powers, but did have his ultra powerful green Mercmobile (TM) and basic ninja gear, along with secret ninja herbs and spices, both for healing and poison. During the events of Flame Wars VI, he gained the power to sense changes to continuity, as well as the Jade Dragon Flute, a mysterious cosmic deus ex machina sort of thing. Both seem to be connected to the Power Kirby. On Earth-20, he no longer has the latter. He also has smoke grenades, but can never seem to get them to work properly.

Appearance

One half Deadpool, one quarter Ultimate Ninja, one quarter Green Ranger. His costume is rather 90's looking, has shoulder pads, and has been described as looking like something Jim Lee would draw on an off day, with way too many pockets. According to Manga Girl, he has a nice butt.

Relationships

Ultimate Mercenary was very much in love with Manga Girl, but due to the amount of time he spent in various parallel timelines was unaware that she was dead for a long time (and seems to have forgotten it upon arriving on Earth-20.) He has an uneasy attraction to Pantra. Doc Nostalgia absolutely hates his guts. Fearless Leader is one of the few members of the Earth-20 LNH who can put up with him, partially because UM reminds FL of his younger self.

Penultimate Savior and Manga Girl III are his children from an alternate future (the identity of their mother remains unknown).

Alternate versions of him include Ultimate Mer-Canary, his Oddball Legion counterpart; Ultimate Patriot, of the Society of Net.Heroes; Ultimate Executioner, from the Mirror Looniverse; and Ultimate Gigolo, from the XXX Looniverse.

Appearances

See also Ultimate Mercenary Reading Order.