Flame Wars IV
Flame Wars IV was a Classic LNH crossover that ran from July 2002 to February 2003, written by Jamie Rosen and Saxon Brenton in consultation with Martin Phipps. It concerned the LNH's battle with OMAR, Net.God of trolling, and celebrated the 10th anniversary of the LNH.
See also The Flame Wars, Flame Wars II, Flame Wars III, Flame Wars V, Flame Wars VI, Flame Wars Final, and the term flamewar.
Where to Read
It can be read on the Eyrie Archive here, or the Blue Light Productions page here.
It was also reposted as part of Arthur Spitzer's "Classic LNH Adventures":
- Part One (Flame Wars IV #0)
- Part Two (Flame Wars IV #1)
- Part Three (The Continuing Misadventures of Miss Translation #9, Librarian Day One-Shot)
- Part Four (Flame Wars IV #2, The Continuing Misadventures of Miss Translation #10)
- Part Five (Flame Wars IV #3)
- Part Six (Flame Wars IV #4, The Non-Continuing Misadventures of (Some of) Miss Translation's Villains)
- Part Seven (Flame Wars IV #5)
- Epilogues (Flame Wars IV: Funeral For Some Friends Parts 1 and 2)
In Limp-Asparagus Lad #40, the interstellar civilizations of the universe had fallen prey to a terrible scourge which they had unknowingly brought from Earth: the collectible trading card craze. A meeting was called on Webster's World to decide on whether or not Earth posed a threat and what to do about it. Splashpage appeared at the meeting and argued that its existence is necessary to the universe because the Writers are from Earth and none of the extraterrestrials could exist without it. She then showed her world was not to be trifled with by transforming all the delegates into their Official Handbook of the Looniverse entries. It was then that Flipseid, who was present at the meeting, decided something had to be done about that irritating little planet called Earth...
Captain Rat Creature arrives on Earth, warning Fearless Leader and the rest of the Legion about the recent galactic upheaval. But he is already too late, as Flipseid sends forth OMAR to spread hatred and anger on Earth. Soon, fights are breaking out all over Net.ropolis, and the people involved start turning into hideous green trolls! Anal-Retentive Archive Kid is attacked by a fundamentalist Christian fanatic, who punctures him with a needle; when he becomes enraged, he is turned into one of the trolls.
Before long many members of the Legion are trollified, and chaos has broken out in the LNHQ! (Again). Kid Kirby pummels OMAR with the Power Kirby, unleashing a battle sequence motivated by sheer sequential storytelling energy rather than anger, while Special Bonding Boy defeats OMAR with the Power of Love. This ticks off OMAR enough that he unleashes the Power of Hate on Net.ropolis, in the form of a nuclear explosion! Luckily, Retcon Lad is on hand to ensure it's not permanent.
But the battle is far from over. OMAR takes over the military base outside of Net.ropolis and gathers his power. He kills several LNHers who run across him, meanwhile, other LNHers who are recovering from trollification die of brain tumors. Ultimate Ninja tries to call in The Normalizer, who had previously reverted some of the trolls, for help, but he has been kidnapped by mysterious forces.
After taking care of an evil HR manager, Ultimate Ninja sends a group of LNHers led by Cannon Fodder on a last desparate attack on OMAR's base. Cannon Fodder will detonate a bomb designed by ARAK. They defeat OMAR, but at a heavy cost: most of the LNHers on the mission die, with Cannon Fodder as, apparently, the only survivor.
Flipseid appears on the outskirts of Net.ropolis and takes the shriveled black husk that had been OMAR's heart. He reflects on how he has taught this world to fear him, and may return OMAR to life if he can be useful...
- Flame Wars IV #0-5 by Saxon Brenton and Jamie Rosen, in consultation with Martin Phipps.
- The Continuing Misadventures of Miss Translation #9-10 by Jamie Rosen: Normalizer, Blue Wave and Starts-Arguments-For-No-Apparent-Reason Kid get into a fight with trolls in a supermarket; the Normalizer is able to cure them but nearly dies and has to be taken to the hospital, where he's kidnapped by net.villains hired by Net.santo.
- The Non-Continuing Misadventures of Some of Miss Translation's Villains by Jamie Rosen: Negative Manny and Norman French attempt to bring the Normalizer to Net.santo, but get thoroughly lost along the way and have an altercation with some trolls.
- Cute Anna, Crypt Looter #9-12 by Martin Phipps: Lost in spacetime after their battle with the Dorfs, Deja Dude and Master Blaster find themselves in a parallel Looniverse reminiscient of The Ultimates; they jump briefly into a few other alternate Earths and get back home, only to find the world overrun by trolls. This arc helped set up Flame Wars VI.
- Pearly White #7 by Jesse Willey: OMAR attempts to take possession of Badass, only to find out he is already under the control of Shroud.
- Ultimate Mercenary #7: While escaping the Crossover Citadel, UM and company wind up in Flame Wars IV. They get into an altercation with a group of trolls and Victoria has a traumatic flashback to her ordeal on Topphorti, allowing her to be possessed by [ REDACTED ], who makes short work of OMAR. Masterplan Lad also briefly winds up possessed, growing a second head.
Casualties of Flame Wars IV
- Chinese Guy: face bitten off by OMAR
- Zowie!!!Boy: died of brain tumour induced by trollification
- Bjorn, Evil LNH HR Manager: killed by Ultimate Ninja
- Subplot Lad: died of brain tumour induced by trollification
- Toilet Humor Man and Constipated Boy: killed by Mygag while the latter was under OMAR's control
- Mygag: committed seppuku once freed of OMAR's control
- Giant Wandering Cow Kid: clawed to death by trolls
- Captain Redundant: killed by gunshot wound to the stomach in Phil form
- Girl/Boy: swung full force into wall by OMAR
- Cheesecake-Eater Lad: overwhelmed by trolls
Each of these heroes (except, of course, Cheesecake-Eater Lad – see below) has an memorial in the Hall of Lost Heroes.
The series won RACCies:Favorite Miniseries and Accies:Favorite Miniseries in the 2002 awards.
Miss Translation and her cohort were thrown out of the LNH by Ultimate Ninja for failing to bring back The Normalizer. They moved into a new base provided by Lamar Dunston. Anal-Retentive Archive Kid discovered that he had been infected with HIV by the enraged fundamentalist. During the funeral, Multi-Tasking Man discovered that Cheesecake-Eater Lad hadn't died, but handed over to a mysterious horse by Major Reason, who took his place.
The Discontinuous Adventures of Starlit Mansions followed up, in a bittersweet mysterious way, on the death of Girl/Boy.
In Ultimate Mercenary #6, it was revealed that the LNH sent a strike force to Topphorti after OMAR's attack, but Flipseid wiped them all out of existence with his Discomega Effect, destroying them as if they had never been and erasing all memory of the counteroffensive. One of them, Victoria Arden, later resurfaced.
In Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #50, the heart of OMAR returned in the hands of General Jarrek, and brought with it a new transformative curse and new revelations.
The "kill off little-used characters" syndrome, while common in mainstream comics, is rare in the LNH, and FWIV represents one of the Legion's few stabs at it. Most of the characters have remained dead (other than Cheesecake-Eater Lad, as above), though Chinese Guy has been planned for a revival for years; Subplot Lad made an unexpected comeback as Plot Hook Lad in Flame Wars Final.