Ultimate Ninja

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Ultimate Ninja is a net.hero created by wReam. See also Ultimate Ninja (series).
Alter Ego: Unknown
Aliases: Bandwagon Boy, Lenny, Slarg
Primary Writer: None
Status: Leader of the LNH
Usability: Free For Use

Personality

Variable, due to the fact that almost all of the Writers have written him at one point or another. Some things abide, however. The Ultimate Ninja is short-tempered, yet good at keeping his anger almost under wraps; he is an excellent fighter, a grudging yet talented administrator, and a strong leader, able to keep this insane organization together and generally pointed in one direction.

After spending time in the alternate universe, he was supposed to be more mature and emotionally expressive, but this didn't take. A clone created by Barkseid claimed this was because the New Dogs had used their power over the Source Code to retcon his history.

Powers and Abilities

He is the ultimate fighting machine. He knows every single way to kill, hurt, or incapacitate a person, and is constantly inventing new ways in his head. He trains every day in the Peril Room, where he often battles an entire holographic version of the LNH, whom he usually dispatches in mere seconds.

Types of Attack

  • The Heartthrob (tm): This is his favorite. It involves pulling the heart out of his opponent's chest and letting them stare at it while it beats.
  • The Spinal Tap (tm): This attack involves pulling the opponent's spinal cord intact and using it as whip to carve the letter 'N' into the opponent's chest.
  • The Black Lotus Fingerlicking Maneuver (tm): This attack involves licking a specific pressure point on an opponent's finger thus causing the opponent to fall into a deep coma. The Ultimate Ninja taught this attack to Cauliflower the Christmas Miracle Pooch.

Weapons

Though the Ultimate Ninja is an expert in all sorts of weapons and can even use an eyelash to slay his opponents, his favorites are the Ninja Bush and the Ginsu Katana.

Appearance

Tall and impossibly thin. Is usually garbed in a jet-black ninja outfit with a red, white, and blue belt.

Trading Card

Template:Attachment:LNH Cards - Ultimate Ninja Front.png Template:Attachment:LNH Cards - Ultimate Ninja Back.png<
> Character art by Arthur Spitzer from the LNH Webcomic. Card design by Drew Perron.

History

The Ultimate Ninja first appeared in the fall of 1992 as a mysterious wildcard, with a grudge against the LNHer Spelling Boy. Spending part of his time under the identity of Bandwagon Boy, he did not truly join the Legion until Cry.Sig, helping take down the enormously powerful Crossover Queen.

Not long after joining, he was thrust into a position of power, as part of a leadership triumvirate that consisted of himself, Rebel Yell, and Continuity Champ. But Continuity Champ appeared to go out in a Blaze of Glory, and Rebel Yell left the Legion due to Lurk of Faith, leaving the Ninja as sole leader.

He would, over time, institute many of the policies that became part of the standard operating procedure for the LNH, including fighting a duel with him in the Peril Room as part of the initiation procedure for new applicants. No one actually won the duel, as Ultimate Ninja was Just That Good; it stood as a sort of Kobayashi Maru, an impossible test to determine the applicant's skills under pressure.

At some point in late 1993, Ultimate Ninja was replaced by an evil version of himself. He was held prisoner in an alternate dimension ruled by Master Cliche for more than a year, where he lost his memory for a time and took the name Slarg[1], but with the help of a mysterious ninja master, eventually managed to escape and defeat the evil overlord, while Panta destroyed his dark doppleganger. Time in the other world moved at a faster rate, and he spent 700 years there, guiding it to become an utopia before returning to the Looniearth.

Afterwards, he dropped the Bandwagon Boy identity and resumed his duties his leader. He acted primarily in that role for a good long while, becoming a character that writers would use to bounce their characters off of.

In 2006, a bunch of really weird stuff happened to UN. His hand was chopped off by Vel, and a mysterious stasis field kept it from being healed by the Legion's comic-book technology. Trying to use a mysterious space crystal to fix it, he was split into three different versions of himself. Two of those versions died during the Killfile Wars. It was all very confusing (and may or may not have even happened anymore).

He took a month-long vacation during April of 2007 – which turned out to be Infinite April, lasting 465 days. When he came back, he was charged with murdering the villain wReamicus Maximus. In order to focus his attention on his legal difficulties, he resigned as leader and put in charge a triumvirate made up of Catalyst Lass, Irony Man, and Fearless Leader. During the legal goings-on, he was kidnapped by the HexFire Club and replaced with wReamicus Maximus in an Ultimate Ninja clone body. He was kept in a hallucinatory dreamworld in one of Hex Luthor's secret prisons, but managed to break free and escape. Disguised as McLaughlin Man, he defeated the fake Ultimate Ninja. After Hex was taken down, he reclaimed leadership of the LNH.

After Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That Will Probably Never Have an Ending, the impossible happened – an applicant for the LNH, Merissa, bested Ultimate Ninja in single combat. Nothing changed; the Ninja was still the leader, still the compleat badass... everything changed. It remains to be seen how this will affect the Ninja, though the appearance of the Membership Application Wheel implies that the days of combat tests may be at an end...

During some of the Ultimate Ninja's flashbacks, he goes by the name of Lenny. Just another part of his mysteries...

Relationships

He has a niece, Ultimate Nina, who he has trained in the ways of the ninja. He also trained Cheesecake-Eater Lad. Ultimate Mercenary tried to be his protege/sidekick, with little success.

John and Sally are his personal assistants.

Awards

In the 2001 Accies, Ultimate Ninja won Accies Favorite LNHer, and in the 2005 RACCies, he was awarded RACCies Favorite Hero/Protagonist.

Appearances

A ton, including but not limited to:

Footnotes

  1. ↑ This was possibly a pun on wReam's old email address?
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